Pigtown Design isn't exactly the most glamorous sounding name, but the first time I saw it on a blog roll, it definitely captured my attention. Turns out the blog takes its title from a historic Baltimore neighborhood where its author, Meg Fairfax Fielding, lives. And not only does Meg's own name sound like it could have come straight out of a Jane Austen novel, she also happens to be one of the most gracious women I've had the pleasure of getting to know both through her posts and our correspondence. 

Meg comes from a long line of Baltimoreans on her mother's side and her father is from England. Though she has lived in Maryland most of her life, did spend several years in the UK, and thus her blog, which she has been writing for the last couple of years, is a mix of style and design news from her hometown as well as from across the pond. Below, Meg shares a few of her thoughts on gracious living:

I define gracious living as . . . Making other people feel comfortable, following the Golden Rule, and being thoughtful.

Three things I need to live graciously . . .

1.  Books are first! I am always reading, I can't sit still without reading something. I try to balance fiction and non-fiction, so that I keep learning. I barely watch television because I feel that there's always something better I can be doing. Have a free bookstore in Baltimore has helped fuel the addiction to books.

2. Second, beautiful china, glassware, and silver.  I was given some Royal Copenhagen china, William Yeoward stemware, and Mappin & Webb silver last summer. Even though I live alone, I use it all the time. It elevates everything I eat – even if it's just a snack or a quick drink – to an elegant event.

3. The third thing is giving to others through charity work. All of my life, my parents have encouraged us to do things for others, and I try to maintain this in my life today. Both the work I do professionally, raising money for a center that helps traumatized children, and what I do as a volunteer, being president of our Main Street program, hopefully make life better for others. I think that is something that can potentially fall by the wayside in our busy lives, but it's crucial that people volunteer if they can.

Nothing could be more gracious than giving back to others less fortunate. This year Meg and Chris Cox of Easy & Elegant Life created April Food Day, a coordinated effort to encourage bloggers to raise awareness about hunger in America by writing posts and encouraging donations to Feeding America, as well as local food banks. Over 150 bloggers participated.

I make guests in my home welcome by . . . having a house where people feel comfortable. Guests have always said that my houses feel cozy and comfortable. They shouldn't feel like they're in a museum and they can't touch things. Because I have a large yellow lab, there's nothing that I can worry about being broken. Life's too short!

Meg loves antique linens. We think the ones above, photographed by Monica Buck for Southern Accents, would be perfect additions to her collection.

The key to a successful party is . . . a mix of fun people from different aspects of my life, and good food and drinks. I used to do some catering and event planning, so I know how to present a party. I have a friend whose slogan is "Linen makes the party," and I think that's so true! I have collected old linens for ages and try to use them, even for the smallest occasions.

If I could ask any four designers (past or present) to dinner, I'd invite . . .

1. Baltimore-born Billy Baldwin. I'd love to know more about life in Baltimore during his era. His designs are still classic and understated and I am sure he'd be lots of fun.

Guess who's coming to dinner? Legendary decorator (and Baltimore born) Billy Baldwin, photographed here in his New York apartment by Alfred Eisenstaedt. Courtesy of Life.com.

2. Stiles Colwill, another Baltimore decorator and shop owner whose taste I've admire for years. I think that he and Billy Baldwin would have loads to talk about and it would be an education to hear their conversation.

Baltimore designer Stills Colwill would add life to the party. Photo by Wyatt Counts

3. Not really a decorator, per se, but Sir Joan Soane, the English architect who designed some of the most beautiful buildings in England, including the Bank of England Building and the Royal Chelsea Hospital in London. His house at Lincoln's Inn Fields has fascinated me for years. There are so many little details that make the house special, and he was so creative in his architecture.

Meg would invite Sir Joane Soane, the British architect whose amazing house at Lincoln's Inn Fields, shown above, is now a museum.

4. Sir Simon Jenkins, who has written two of my favorite books -- England's Thousand Best Churches and England's Thousand Best Houses. Writing books like this would be my dream job and I would welcome the chance to listen to his stories about finding these special places and then researching them. 

Sir Simon Jenkins would entertain dinner guests with his wide knowledge and perspective on the best buildings in Great Britain.

At this dream dinner party I'd serve . . . Maryland is known as the Land of Pleasant Living and has great traditional and locally-grown foods. I would start with Maryland cantaloupe and honeydew melons wrapped with prosciutto, followed by a crab salad in fresh Eastern Shore tomatoes with good summer corn. For dessert, a strawberry shortcake with goat cheese mascarpone, made by my best friend, who is a pastry chef. For summery drinks, I'd serve Southsides, Pimms Cups, or prosecco.

My no-fail entertaining secret . . . Work hard to have a lovely party, but don't worry if it isn't perfect. Usually, no one will know something is wrong but me! If I am cool and calm, that will convey to my guests and they will be comfortable.

My style icon is . . . Charlotte Moss. I love her style in decorating and design, as well as her interesting clothes. Every time you see a photograph of her, she is wearing an unusual piece, not necessarily pegged to one particular designer, but maybe a vintage kimono or an elegant ball skirt. I love classic with a twist!

The always elegant Charlotte Moss photographed by Brooke Slezak

The last time I wanted the etiquette police to make an arrest . . . I am on a board and I was having a discussion with one of our staff members. I would make a suggestion, and he would flatly contradict everything I said by just saying "no." I was always taught not to answer with one word sentences. When I finally countered him on a point, he threw a tantrum. He called off the meeting and stormed out, leaving those of us on the board stunned and upset.  I was horrified that a grown up person would act that way in a business setting. It was so unprofessional and immature, and I wanted to sit him down and give him a good talking to!

The most gracious person I've encountered recently . . . There are two people. My mother, first. She tried to teach us well, beginning when were were small. She and my father entertained a lot and taught us how to interact with their guests, including how to shake hands and curtsy (and then make ourselves scarce!). My mother taught us to write thank you notes, be polite on the phone, make conversation and other small thinks that make a gracious person. My parents ensured that we were well-rounded by sending us for lessons in sports, but also exposing us to the arts. 

My other person is the uncle of my nieces and nephew on their father's side. Mark and I call each other the out-laws. He's gracious and charming and lives an elegant life in every way. He's always thinking of little things that have a meaning for friends and family, like sending an article or a little book because he knows the recipient will appreciate it. I've learned an incredibly amount from him about antiques and decoration and the art of gracious living.

Patricia Shackelford, who the blogging world knows as "Mrs. Blandings," lives in Kansas City, Missouri, where she writes from her own very pretty dream house and keeps up with three growing young boys and a husband who we're certain must be as dashing as Cary Grant (really, could we imagine Patricia settling for anything less?). 

Patricia's blog is warm, witty, and personal, and though she sometimes "calls them like she sees them," she always keeps a friendly tone. (I owe her a debt of gratitude for one of her posts aboout a photo and caption that appeared in our magazine–it made me much more aware of how silly and unhelpful captions can be!).

Although this Tulsa native technically no longer lives in "Southern Accents territory," her kind spirit, classic good taste, and exceedingly good manners mean we'll always claim her as one of our own. Below, Patricia's thoughts on gracious living:

Patricia Shackelford, aka Mrs. Blandings, in her beautiful living room. Photo by Patrick Binder.

 I define gracious living as . . . making the most of where you are are, making other people comfortable as often as possible, and finding humor whenever you can.

A tradition I keep that reminds me of my Southern roots . . . eating black-eyed peas on New Year's Day. I didn't know this was a Southern tradition, but a lot of people in Kansas City think I'm crazy when I mention it.

Black-eyed pea salad, courtesy of myrecipes.com, where you can find a number of black-eyed pea recipes, including the traditional New Year's Day Hoppin' John.

The movie sets I'd most like to live in (besides Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House, of course) . . . are almost always 1940s country houses––Philadelphia Story, Christmas in Connecticut, and Holiday Inn are all favorites.

The key to a successful party is . . . having parties! I think so many people are just terrified to entertain–the house isn't right; they don't think they cook well enough; the children will be unruly–but the more you do it the easier it gets. The point of parties at home is to spend time with friends with no agenda. Do as much as you can in advance, make sure the bar is stocked, relax, and have fun.

We assume that Patricia's dinner parties are a little more low-key (and probably a lot more fun) than the one shown here in the New York apartment of Angier Biddle Dukes before the Gibson Girl Ball. Photo by Alfred Eisenstaedt; courtesy of Life.com.

My no-fail entertaining secret . . . is having my husband cook!

A few good men – all handsome and incredibly talented – who Mrs. Blandings would welcome to her dream dinner party for designers.

If I could ask any designers (past or present) to dinner, I'd invite . . .
Albert Hadley, because his career has been fascinating and he would fill me in on Sister Parish; Van Day Truex and Ruby Ross Wood; the late Roger Banks-Pye, because I love his attention to detail and it sounds like he would have been a heck of a good time at a party; Michael Smith, for obvious reasons; Thomas O'Brien, because I adore his clean aesthetic and he is so darn cute.

We try to instill good manners in our children by . . . having good manners ourselves–with others and with them.

The last time I wanted the etiquette police to make an arrest . . . was following the death of a friend's mother. The woman who ended up coordinating food for the open house organized carry-out and instructed the rest of us to write a check. I really don't think there was one woman who would have rather had the ease over the satisfaction of making food for the family.

photo courtesy of Patricia Shackelford

The most gracious person I've encountered lately . . . I recently visited an exhibit of untrained artists at the Belger Art Center and saw the sculptures of Bill LaCivita for the first time. He creates elegant busts embellished with seashells and I was struck by their classic form enhanced by such an organic element. I posted about his work on Mrs. Blandings and Mr. LaCivita emailed me to say he appreciated my making note of his work. He offered to send me a sculpture, if I wanted one, and did not want me to pay for it but asked that I cover shipping as it can be steep. Of course I wanted one; of course I was willing to pay shipping. I received an email today with an image of the piece he had made for me with the following note: "I have decided instead of your sending me the cost of postage, please donate this amount to your favorite charity, or to the Belger Art Center." Simply lovely.

Courtney Barnes, aka Style Court, has been blogging from Atlanta for almost three years now. We simply love her style--she's steeped in tradition, but firmly on top of today's trends and sensibilities. She has a passion for history, antiques, art, and promoting good design, and you can find her musing daily on everything from chinoiserie to gift wrap ideas to the latest fabric introductions. "I love getting a designer or friend to share how they enjoying using their home, their funny traditions, and such," she says. "But I'm usually not satisfied until I sneak in a link to a museum or some other educational tidbit." Courtney's incredible kindness makes her a favorite among her fellow bloggers (she's always quick with a thoughtful comment) and a pleasure to work with, as we've discovered through the writing assignments she has taken on for Southern Accents. See what she has to say about gracious living:

Courtney Barnes

I define gracious living as . . ."The house always smells delicious." That is a description I once read about Kentucky-born artist Elliott Puckette's home. To me it conveys true luxury. I have no idea what kind of kitchen countertops she has, or how expensive her range was, but if the house is filled with the aromas of roasted chicken and freshly baked bread made to share with children and friends, that's living well. It's all about appreciating small pleasures, using your things, and treating others kindly.

No Southern home should be without . . . I want to say a magnolia tree (so many opportunities for using the flowers and beautiful dark green leaves inside) but I actually don't have one.  Ideally we should all have camellias--even just potted camellias on a tiny patio--because fresh cut flowers are another big part of gracious living.

I make guests in my home feel welcome with . . . Hopefully, first with a smile. I think my grandparents were much better hosts. They were always prepared for anyone who dropped by--plenty of small bites to offer, well-stocked bar, warm conversation. So, I'm trying to remember everything they did effortlessly.

My favorite hostess gift to give . . . Julia Reed's "Ham Biscuits, Hostess Gowns, and Other Southern Specialties: An Entertaining Life (with Recipes)." Soon it will be available in paperback.

Editor's note: It's purely a coincidence, but Julia Reed also happens to be a regular food and entertaining contributor for Southern Accents. If you want to read an excerpt from her cookbook, click here. 

My favorite homemade hostess gift . . . My friend Laura makes the best mini pound cakes I've ever tasted (her mom's secret recipe). They are easy to transport and she presents them really simply with a tag that reads "from Laura's kitchen." Giving a bag of pecans with a family recipe for chocolate pecan pie (and a little bottle of bourbon) is always a great idea if you didn't inherit your grandmother's baking skills.

The key to a successful party is . . . I'm embarrassed to say I went through a phase when I focused on all sorts of creative projects inspired by a certain lifestyle guru. Now I'm a big believer in all the old school stuff: ambiance from simple candles or lanterns; flowers that don't give guests a headache, straightforward food that tastes great; good music; and a relaxed happy hostess.

My music playlist for a dinner party . . .  Some of my all-time favorite songs include Etta James' "At Last," and Nina Simone's "Here Comes the Sun." So these days a good trick for lazy girls is just to type Etta James in the iTunes search bar and hit the "genius" button. I get an instant suggested playlist and a great way to discover "new" old songs. I think the music that grew out of our region is just great, whether it's jazz or Johnny Cash or rock. Mixing older songs with contemporary, and a nice balance of high energy with soft, is another good approach for parties. Having said that, if I have a friend around who is much more of a music buff, it's nice to put him/her in charge of the tunes for the night.

What really drives me crazy about the lack of manners today . . . Good manners shouldn't be so difficult. Fundamentally they are about consideration for others. If you grasp that, you instinctively know when not to talk on your cell phone. I also think irreverence is overly celebrated. Being outspoken and snarky isn't necessarily being witty.

The last time I wanted the etiquette police to make an arrest . . . When I heard the "I lead such a hectic life" excuse used for not acknowledging a gift. More and more, I hear perfectly healthy people with few responsibilities aside from their dog claim they are too busy for thank you notes. (Even thank you emails!)

Editor's note: Courtney and I share a love of stationery, though she is much more artistic than I and makes her own with beautiful supplies from Paper Source. I know first-hand that she never forgets to write a thank you note!

The most gracious person I encountered this past week . . . Well, I have to go back a month or two. A design "celebrity" took time to correspond directly with me rather than have his assistant do everything. I was so impressed by his lack of pretense. He was very generous with his knowledge too, and I think that is the essence of being gracious.

Style Court's banner illustration by Anne Harwell; photo of Courtney Barnes by Steve Pomberg; photo of camellia by Erica George Dines; table setting photo by Becky Luigart-Stayner; stationery courtesy of Courtney Barnes.

No Southern home should be without . . . fresh flowers, polished silver, candles, chilled white wine, the usual, of course. But also a good air conditioner in the summer. Once, ours went on the brink in the middle of a dinner party and the night was an utter disaster!  You must have good a/c in the south!

 

photo by Quentin Bacon

I make guests in my home welcome by . . . serving wine in beautiful crystal, having the tables set with flowers, using china and silver, and no plastic anything, ever! To me, entertaining with your finest means entertaining with your prettiest, and nothing is more gracious than having guests walk into your softly lit home with quiet music in the background, fresh flowers about, and ironed tablecloths and cloth napkins. I like my guests to notice the ambiance I've created--it tells them I've gone the extra mile for them and that they matter to me.

When having a dinner party at home, Joni prefers leaving the cooking to the professionals. Photo by Quentin Bacon

The key to a successful party is . . . a good caterer and someone to help clean up! Unless you really know how to cook well, why not give your guests something wonderful to eat, just as they would have in a fine restaurant. I'm sensitive to this subject because I am not the best cook, I would rather concentrate on my tablesettings and the centerpieces rather than food. It's not relaxing cooking while your guests are there. Plus, it's so nerve wracking worrying about the food being hot and clearing the dishes for dessert while you are in the middle of a conversation. To me, another key is NOT having the kitchen become a guest at the party! Whatever happened to houses where the kitchen was hidden? What's so glamorous about dirty dishes and a hot stove? I don't understand why we abandoned the separation of dining and cooking in our homes. My kitchen is open to the family room and if I could change one thing I would close it off.

Soft lighting instantly flatters every guest. Photo by J. Savage Gibson

My no-fail entertaining secret . . . dimmers! Bright lights spoil the mood. Soft lighting is so much more romantic. Unfortunately, most people don't agree with me and insist on blazing their overheads in every room. Another tip--don't forget the back patio. Use twinkling strings of lights outside--it's another touch that adds to the atmosphere. Burn some tiki lights--they are so festive. Dancing flames are mood enhancers. If you have a fire pit outside, light it. I love being inside a home and looking out the windows and seeing lights glowing; otherwise, it's just a boring black hole.

What really drives me crazy about the lack of manners today . . . the usual--loud conversations on cell phones and also eating while on the telephone! So much of our lives today are spent online, emailing each other, texting . . . there is still a need for manners in our high-tech lives. When writing a personal email, pretend it's a letter--sign off with a "take care" or "have a great weekend." Don't barrage people with instant messages on the computer. Technology has really pushed manners out of our lives.

An arrangement of cymbidium orchids; photo by Erica George Dines

The most gracious person I encountered this week . . . my husband. He was raised with the best manners and is such a considerate and caring person. It was our 21st anniversary and he sent me a beautiful orchid with a personal note. There is still something so exciting and romantic about receiving unexpected flowers at the front door. Even my teenage daughter is beginning to realize this. Her boyfriend sends her a dozen roses, once a month, on their anniversary. Someone taught him well!