One of my favorite blogs is Cote de Texas, written by Houston designer Joni Webb (we've taken note, by the way, that there are so many great voices in blogland who live in our little corner of the world!). Joni, as her site's name suggests, loves all things French, but her blog goes much deeper than that. She's always thorough (sometimes one of her posts takes two cups of coffee), thought-provoking, funny, and never lacking in an opinion, whether it's on the merits of skirted tables or the foolishness of much of the McMansion building going on in suburban neighborhoods (or at least before the housing crisis). I was curious to know more about her thoughts on gracious living so I asked and Joni answered. And thus here is the first in a series of interviews with some of our favorite Southern bloggers.
I define gracious living as . . . being thoughtful, considerate, generous with others, sharing your good fortune. Gracious living can be something as simple as getting along with your neighbors or remembering people at the holidays who help you out during the year. Certainly it's about good manners--talking softly in public, thinking of the next person's feelings. On a personal level, living graciously is surrounding yourself with your own vision of beauty, creating a home for your family to enjoy and be proud of. There's nothing my husband and I would rather do than be at home together with our daughter and our dogs. Even if you live alone, you should create a beautiful space just for yourself. My aunt was widowed and lived alone and at one point she got rid of her "everyday" dishes and glasses and only used her fine china and crystal -- how wonderful is that? Of course gracious living means having a clean house, organized and smooth running, something I am also striving for!
No Southern home should be without . . . fresh flowers, polished silver, candles, chilled white wine, the usual, of course. But also a good air conditioner in the summer. Once, ours went on the brink in the middle of a dinner party and the night was an utter disaster! You must have good a/c in the south!
I make guests in my home welcome by . . . serving wine in beautiful crystal, having the tables set with flowers, using china and silver, and no plastic anything, ever! To me, entertaining with your finest means entertaining with your prettiest, and nothing is more gracious than having guests walk into your softly lit home with quiet music in the background, fresh flowers about, and ironed tablecloths and cloth napkins. I like my guests to notice the ambiance I've created--it tells them I've gone the extra mile for them and that they matter to me.
When having a dinner party at home, Joni prefers leaving the cooking to the professionals. Photo by Quentin Bacon
The key to a successful party is . . . a good caterer and someone to help clean up! Unless you really know how to cook well, why not give your guests something wonderful to eat, just as they would have in a fine restaurant. I'm sensitive to this subject because I am not the best cook, I would rather concentrate on my tablesettings and the centerpieces rather than food. It's not relaxing cooking while your guests are there. Plus, it's so nerve wracking worrying about the food being hot and clearing the dishes for dessert while you are in the middle of a conversation. To me, another key is NOT having the kitchen become a guest at the party! Whatever happened to houses where the kitchen was hidden? What's so glamorous about dirty dishes and a hot stove? I don't understand why we abandoned the separation of dining and cooking in our homes. My kitchen is open to the family room and if I could change one thing I would close it off.
Soft lighting instantly flatters every guest. Photo by J. Savage Gibson
My no-fail entertaining secret . . . dimmers! Bright lights spoil the mood. Soft lighting is so much more romantic. Unfortunately, most people don't agree with me and insist on blazing their overheads in every room. Another tip--don't forget the back patio. Use twinkling strings of lights outside--it's another touch that adds to the atmosphere. Burn some tiki lights--they are so festive. Dancing flames are mood enhancers. If you have a fire pit outside, light it. I love being inside a home and looking out the windows and seeing lights glowing; otherwise, it's just a boring black hole.
What really drives me crazy about the lack of manners today . . . the usual--loud conversations on cell phones and also eating while on the telephone! So much of our lives today are spent online, emailing each other, texting . . . there is still a need for manners in our high-tech lives. When writing a personal email, pretend it's a letter--sign off with a "take care" or "have a great weekend." Don't barrage people with instant messages on the computer. Technology has really pushed manners out of our lives.
An arrangement of cymbidium orchids; photo by Erica George Dines
The most gracious person I encountered this week . . . my husband. He was raised with the best manners and is such a considerate and caring person. It was our 21st anniversary and he sent me a beautiful orchid with a personal note. There is still something so exciting and romantic about receiving unexpected flowers at the front door. Even my teenage daughter is beginning to realize this. Her boyfriend sends her a dozen roses, once a month, on their anniversary. Someone taught him well!
