Posted by Karen, March 31, 2009 in Etiquette
I recently received a beautiful handwritten note from a friend. A few days later I received a follow-up e-mail that went something like this:
Dear Karen,
I am mortified. I think I incorrectly addressed a note to you with "Mrs." followed by your first name. I violated my own rule of always using the universally correct "Ms." unless I know for certain a woman prefers to be called "Mrs. John Doe." Anyway, it has kept me up at night! Don't know what was in the back of my mind that day when I mailed the letter.
Regards,
* Jane Doe
*name changed to protect the truly innocent
Well, I hadn't even noticed. Honestly, these days it's such a treat to receive a personal note that I would never think to question its correctness or otherwise.
"Tradition held that a married woman should use the title Mrs. only in conjunction with her husband's name, not her own--'Mrs. Arthur Reynolds' rather than 'Mrs. Susan Reynolds.' The latter was only acceptable in the event of divorce. But societal changes gradually made this practice seem a relic from another time. Today it is acceptable for both married and divorced women to be referred to by their first names after the title Mrs.--as in 'Mrs. Mary McGowan.'"
So see, my gracious correspondent, you are clearly in step with the times. But even had that not been the case, in my book, a letter from a thoughtful friend trumps the "rules" any day. Sweet dreams.
